The Steal

On NPR today they were talking about a new book about stealing. It made me think back to when I was maybe 8 or 9 and I stole a piece of candy from the grocery store. I don't remember if it was a jolly rancher or piece of bubble gum. I do remember it was one small piece self wrapped and in a bowl next to the register. When my mom was checking out I picked it up and just held it in my hand. No one noticed so I just kept holding it, all the way out the door. I remember thinking later that I didn't even really want it. It was just the act of getting away with it that felt so good. Although when I ate it, I felt horrible. So much guilt over a five cent piece of candy. That guilt is probably what kept me from a life of crime. :)

JR

When I was in college, I was friends with a guy that was way more into me than I was to him. At first, I kind of liked him. Until it got to be obvious how hard he was trying.

Side-note: What is it in our makeup that immediately turns our brains 360° when someone tries too hard? Why don't we want someone who tries hard? Experience has taught me that it's better than someone who doesn't try at all.

Anyway, we remained friends during my on again off again relationship with a cheater. He was always there for me and kind to me. In return, I took total advantage of him. In was only interested in being friends when it suited me. When I wanted to feel wanted. Wanted to try and irritate the boyfriend. I thrived on the drama of it all. I think I intentionally created situations to be soap-opera-esque.

I don't know what happened to him. Shockingly, we lost touch. I feel I owe him an apology. So . . .

JR, I'm sorry for being unkind to you. I was childish and selfish and just plain mean. There is no excuse for how I treated you and it makes me sick to think that I was that person.